RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY

The Struggle To Feel Safe And Secure

Focus on the needs of others to the point it causes you harm?  Create reasons why a good relationship isn’t working? Afraid to be vulnerable so you act overly independent? Scared to rock the boat so you just keep the peace? Fall quickly then change course by playing hard to get?

Specializing in Secure Relationship Attachment

We’re born into this world 100% dependent on two human beings – first our mother, second our father, Not just for physical survival but emotional and psychological survival. Learning how to love and be loved started the very first time you felt either safe or unsafe to express your needs and feelings. If it felt unsafe to express yourself growing up then you felt more safe in suppressing yourself. Suppressing yourself avoided conflict which maintained the feeling of love and belonging with the ones you emotionally depended on – your parents. But as with any habit, with repeated suppression you learned repetition compulsion – a subconscious irresistible urge to repeat a pattern that preserve your emotional safety and security in the past. While this was ‘The Answer’ as a child to maintain love and belonging, it has now become a dysfunctional pattern as an adult. These attachment patterns are anxiety driven and become self-sabotaging. Most people with insecure relationship attachments are Adult Children from Dysfunctional Families (ACoA). I know I’ve been there! So why do we destroy love when it’s what we deeply yearn for?

How Will You Help Me?